The stars have spoken! Get your weekly horoscope now…
Quit your job and you’ll be out of work.
Though the ocean appears to never end, other lands wait upon it’s far distant shores. Start swimming now and you’ll reach them by next year.
Never give up, never let go, never fall down.
Trying too hard can sometimes take you to bad places. Try trying a little less hard this week.
If you feel it’s time to take a break, you might just be right. A cup of Earl Grey and two biscuits will do the trick.
Stop forcing others to bend to your will. Just because you discovered you have psychic powers doesn’t mean you should use them.
Remember, a car without an engine is no better than a bird without bones in its wings.
Though mayonnaise is the cure-all remedy for most ailments, sometimes a trip to the doctor is necessary. If the bleeding doesn’t stop by tomorrow, call 911.
Books can make you feel feelings you’ve never felt before. Pick one up for a change, you may surprise yourself.
Sometimes it’s tiring writing a horoscope for someone you don’t like.
Des Geulasse is your favorite blog. Ever.
A good sport to try this weekend is extreme kayaking.