Your July Horoscope: Week I

Aries:

You’ll get your just desserts. And that’s all you’ll get.

Taurus:

A cherry on top is only as good as what’s below.

Gemini:

You are what you eat, so stop eating those marshmallows.

Cancer:

This weekend get out of town- make like a banana and split.

Libra:

A slice of carrot cake eaten in the fresh morning air will do you good.

Leo:

When given the choice between pie and crumble, always choose crumble. Unless the pie is banoffee.

Scorpio:

You are the apple turnover of someone’s eye.

Pisces:

Popsicles are a good way to make friends this weekend. Carry a few in your purse and be ready.

Aquarius:

Margaritas can be a great substitute for dessert in a pinch. Add two dashes of mayonnaise and you’re there.

Sagittarius:

You really don’t need any more candy in your life.

Virgo:

Don’t forget to get Tums at the grocery store.

Capricorn:

Cookies aren’t always meant to be shared. It’s time to tell that ‘friend’ to keep her hands off.

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3 Comments

  • Reply
    Carla
    June 26, 2016 at 8:29 pm

    I wish my every day life made this much sense…

  • Reply
    Nielle
    June 26, 2016 at 9:07 pm

    I love the idea of carrot cake in the morning air, it sounds perfect for my bronchitis. I hope I am able to get out of bed soon and try this!!

  • Reply
    Emily Staiger
    June 27, 2016 at 2:48 am

    This is a pisces of cake! hah! Gotcha! Love it!

    Check out my blog!
    http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/psoriasis

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