Your January Horoscope: Week II

Like my boyfriend A, the stars are distant, enigmatic creatures of darkness that appear only at night and never invite me over to their own homes. Unlike my boyfriend A, there are thousands of stars in the universe… there is no one quite like my A 😉

Aries:

Buttons fall off, but can always be sewn back on again. All you need is a needle, thread, and a some super glue. 

Taurus:

Imagine a world where all the humans are mermaids and all the dogs are seaunicorns.

Gemini:

A glass of wine is acceptable anytime- just don’t go bragging about it on instagram.

Cancer:

Rainy days are good for hiding tears. Let the heavens wipe your face clean. If it’s not raining you can just buy some tissues.

Libra:

Put on a pair of socks.

Scorpio:

If you thought that toe rings are no longer in fashion, think again. Let those toes glitter brighter than any dragon’s hoard of treasure.

Pisces:

Toe rings are totally 100% out of style, don’t even bother trying them you will regret it.

Aquarius:

Nose rings are in.

Sagittarius:

It would be best if you got yourself trapped in an elevator for the day so that no one will have the sad task of dealing with you. Think of it as a weekend gift.

Virgo:

Polka dots look better on the arms than on the legs or face.

Capricorn:

Be the change you want to see in your coin purse.

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1 Comment

  • Reply
    Grandma
    January 26, 2017 at 9:22 pm

    thank you Phyllis this is a nice horoscope. where did you get it honey?

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