Your February Horoscope: Week I

It’s my favorite time of the week: a post about how the stars whisper to me from the shadows and pass on their weekly fortunes.

Spoiler alert: some of our readers are in for an amazing Sunday.

Aries:

Big plans for the weekend often lead to bigger disappointments. Try not to schedule anything, just let it happen. 

Taurus:

When the planets align in your favor, great things can be accomplished. This won’t be happening anytime soon, but it’s nice to know.

Gemini:

Pour yourself a beer and celebrate another week of successfully avoiding your ex-wife.

Cancer:

The weather will reflect your mood this weekend so be careful how you let yourself feel. You might end up causing a thunderstorm that destroys homes and floods streets.

Libra:

The end table you wanted to purchase is going to be sold out soon.

Scorpio:

Nail polish isn’t just for your nails. Try painting your living room walls with your fave color- you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Pisces:

Be careful around people you don’t know. Strangers may hold the key to all the world’s knowledge… but they may also be serial killers in disguise.

Aquarius:

The Falcons will absolutely beat the Patriots this weekend.

Sagittarius:

You should have used hairspray.

Virgo:

Socks and sandals are finally in style again. Time to get yourself to the beach!

Capricorn:

The tattoo you were thinking about getting is an okay choice, but you could probably do better.

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6 Comments

  • Reply
    Nicole Mai
    February 3, 2017 at 12:36 pm

    great post! i’m taurus haha

    xx Nicole – http://www.nicolemai.com

    • Reply
      Phyllis
      February 4, 2017 at 12:04 pm

      Don’t worry, Nicole- I sense the planets will align in a few months! Thanks for reading 😉

  • Reply
    Mildo
    February 15, 2017 at 9:39 pm

    Phyllis I hate to do this, but can I borrow some money? Please send it to Santa Monica Police Department, 333 Olympic Dr, Santa Monica, CA 90401 c/o Mildo

    I need $1500 for bail as soon as possible

    Don’t worry too much, someone framed me again!!!! Probably my recently passed husband’s mother again, she has always been jealous of me!!

    • Reply
      Phyllis
      February 16, 2017 at 9:18 am

      Hi Mildo, so sorry to hear you’re in jail again!!! I don’t have too much time today to help though, sorry 🙁 maybe next time!!

      xo
      Phyllis

      • Reply
        Mildo
        February 16, 2017 at 12:05 pm

        Hi Phyllis,

        It’s ok – I understand. I was actually able to sneak out (again) using a grenade that I hid EXTREMELY well.

        Your “stalker” (C’s words, not mine),
        mildo

        • Reply
          Phyllis
          February 16, 2017 at 8:33 pm

          Sounds great, good for you, Mildo!

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