Your August Horoscope: Week I


One word: Spray Tan


If you feel your path in life is leading you elsewhere, try following it blindly. It might not be a beautiful path, but you’ll be blind so it won’t matter.


The stars can’t stop aligning for you: it’s about time you take advantage of their plasma.


Why limit yourself to one piece of life’s pie when there’s an entire wheel of provolone around the corner?


Love is what you make of it, so get out your drawing pens and create your perfect SO. If you pray hard enough they might come alive for you.


If you don’t stop for a break every once in a while you’ll wear yourself down. Sometimes all a human needs is a weekend away and a little of this.


Just because it’s on the internet doesn’t mean it’s true.


Head out to a bar this weekend, you’ll be surprised at how easy it is to act normal when you’re surrounded by drunk people.


If your heart is telling you to stop running, it might be time to listen. Sometimes cardiovascular activity can be too strenuous.


Try calling your mom this weekend, I bet she’s the only one who still cares about you.


A raise is just around the corner, all you have to do is demand it vehemently.


Passion is what makes us human. Passionfruit is what keeps us alive when stranded on a desert island with nothing but passionfruit.

Photo from the National Archives 594342

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  • Reply
    Lisa Anne
    August 5, 2016 at 2:36 pm

    I’m planning a visit to Hawaii, I’ll make sure to learn what a passion fruit looks like. Thanks for the tip!!

  • Reply
    August 5, 2016 at 3:10 pm

    Your horoscopes are always so on point. Such an Aries.

  • Reply
    Lara Rose
    August 7, 2016 at 9:51 am

    Great post! Thanks for mine! Lovely blog you have


  • Reply
    August 15, 2016 at 9:27 pm

    WOW I love provolone! LOL!

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