When to Say No

Dating A has given me so much insight into what it’s like to be a parent that some days I wake up and think I’m the one who actually birthed his son! I know, I know, I haven’t officially met his son (yet) BUT when we do meet I think it’s going to be a really big step for all of us.

Now some might scoff when I say this… but seriously, being a mom is a full time job. There are just so many things to deal with! One of the most important aspects of parenthood I’ve heard A complain about is teaching your kid how to accept ‘no’ for an answer. It’s not something I usually have to deal with, since I don’t think I actually know anyone under the age of twenty-five BUT it’s totally an important part of growing up!

So as the Des Geulasse parenthood expert, I’d like to give you all a little advice on raising children.


It’s okay to say no

This is a really important thing that I think a lot of young parents forget. You don’t have to agree to everything your child wants. Or your wife for that matter. Like if she says ‘I don’t want a divorce we have a kid together we can work through this’ you don’t have to agree. You can get the divorce. And finally be with your great girlfriend full time.


Sometimes it’s easier to lie

Take Santa Claus for example- yes you’re lying if you say he’s real, but does that make you a bad parent? No! In fact it makes you a great parent! So if you have to lie to your child every once in a while to protect them or make your life easier, it’s okay. For instance, next time you’re at the super market and your kid starts to throw a temper tantrum, just lie to him or her to get them to stop. When I was young my mother would always say things like ‘If you keep crying I will leave you here and never come back’ or ‘Pouting loses you dinner privileges for the week’.  They worked every time- but I’m pretty sure she was lying!


You can play favorites

I know this might seem like an outrageous thing to say, but honestly I think it’s brave to admit that we’re all human and that sometimes we can’t help but play favorites. It’s okay. I know A favors me more than his ‘wife’ and child but he’s just too embarrassed to admit it. I know that my mother always liked Primrose better- and that’s why she eventually gave her the better name. I think as a society we all just need to step back and stop putting pressure on men and women to practice equality in relationships. If someone is a better person than another, let them know.





Photo by Lewis Hine via the National Archives, 523230


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  • Reply
    June 8, 2016 at 11:16 am

    I’m a new mother and I must say it is so refreshing to get an honest opinion for once. I think too many people sugar coat parenting. I especially agree with the lying- I mean a little white lie has never hurt anyone.

  • Reply
    June 8, 2016 at 5:45 pm

    It sounds like A really needs to open his heart to you more. Don’t be afraid to push your way in, Phyllis!

  • Reply
    Wabi Okisabi
    June 8, 2016 at 9:42 pm

    If you’re like me, you can’t say no to pizza!!! Ha!

  • Reply
    Tina M
    June 8, 2016 at 10:06 pm

    Totally agree w/ what ur saying!!!

  • Reply
    Trisha P
    June 16, 2016 at 7:03 pm

    I’ve been a full-time stay-at-home fiance for 5 months now. I agree with everything you’ve said. Sometimes you need to say no and just follow your heart.

    • Reply
      June 22, 2016 at 10:09 am

      Good for you Trisha!

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